Go Away, Winter

I like to avoid winter as long as humanly possible. I’m a fall sorta gal. I like the crunchy leaves, and the (fake) uggs, and the sweater cardigans that I don’t really have to wear with a jacket, but if I do I can wear a nice light peacoat. It’s enough layers to still make me feel pretty, and not like the Goodyear Blimp. The days are still relatively long, but not so long that the kids demand that I’m lying when I tell them it’s bedtime at 8pm. I really, really love fall.

However, in Alberta, we don’t get much of my favorite season. We get a month, maybe two if we’re lucky, before it snows. This year we got snow at the beginning of September, which was technically still summer. This stung particularly because the last snowfall was in May. It meant we had only three months without snow.  Our seasons defy the natural calendar, laughing in their faces, snowing in the months where no one should ever have to see snow. Winter in Alberta is a giant asshole that doesn’t listen to boundaries.

Ask me why I live here again?

Of course, when the weather called for our first real winter storm this week, I hesitated. Despite the snow in September, we’ve had a relatively easy winter. Halloween was a touch nippy, but nicer than it had been last year. My husband kept saying they hadn’t hit their real busy rush at work, which meant winter hadn’t officially arrived. Maybe they were wrong about this impending storm. Maybe it’d pass us by like all the awesome thunderstorms do in the summer. Maybe I’d be able to continue my comfortable morning routine that involves getting up as late as I can justify to drive my kids to school.

Oh, sweet, sweet denial.

Today, I was late taking my daughter to dance, though, I should point out we were’t the last ones in the door. Because I forgot that the car IMG_1988needs to be cleared off properly. Because the roads were not cleared or sanded yet (there is no point when the snow was still coming fast and furiously). On the way out of the grocery store, I got stuck at least a dozen times because OMG SO MUCH SNOW. That was hilarious to my daughter as I heaved on that car pushing it into submission, grateful I’d managed to get a spot close to the doors.  I realized that my fall jacket was no longer warm enough when I decided to walk two blocks to run an errand after my daughter’s dance class. I also needed new boots because my fall boots were soaked, and my toes were frozen.  I dealt with a cold, crying  child because she insisted on walking to the school doors to pick up her brother even though I told her the snow was super deep and she’d be more comfortable in the warm, running car.  I spent a good portion of the evening watching the road reports because my husband works over an hour away and takes a main highway that is a hotbed of accidents during the winter. I may have sent him a dozen texts requesting that he please ask his sister if he could crash at her place for the night (he didn’t listen and fortunately arrived home safely). I cursed as I had to lug our garbage bin through the freshly fallen, deep, deep snow. I contemplated keeping the kids home from school tomorrow because I just don’t wanna go out in the mess.  I don’t wanna.

Yes, I may have stomped my foot right then. My arms are fully crossed, but only because I’m freezing.

You should know, that this almost temper tantrum about the snow is part of the transition to winter. Yes, it snows every year. A lot. Yes, it’s already snowed a little bit, here and there. Yes, I know it gets cold, and should have planned ahead to get a jacket, but avoidance of the inevitable means I can pretend winter might not arrive. However, in a week or two, I’ll have gotten used to this, as one does. My alarm will be set at least twenty minutes earlier. I’ll start wearing socks without groaning about having to wear socks (I hate them). Shoveling the walkway will just become a part of my morning routine. I’ll get used to winter driving again and the extra time it takes to get from here to there. When my weather app says it’s going to be -23 without a windchill, I’ll get excited because no windchill is awesome.

Tonight though, I’m snuggling up on the couch with a warm cup of coffee, two blankets, a sweater, slippers and giving the still falling snow a dirty look. And maybe a middle finger.

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