I was about 14, with overly blondish highlights from my escapades with Sun-In. It was a church function and I found myself upset with how some of the girls had treated me earlier that evening.
“When does the drama and stupidity stop?” I asked one of the youth leaders.
He gave me a trite answer, one that I don’t even remember, but I do remember the look in his eye that I couldn’t pin then, but recognize the look now: “It doesn’t always go away”.
And I wish I’d known that as I excitedly looked to adulthood to be a reprieve from the childish antics of my teen years. I dreamed of real friends, and real people who I adored. Not more fights, fake friends, and gossip.
Drama is still here in adulthood, unfortunately. Sometimes it creeps in, but sometimes, you manage to find the adult version of Mean Girls, and voila, you are in the midst of a creepy high school-esque prank. The Queen Bee’s still exist. The bullies are still the bullies, and there are still the girls who love gossip more than they love having real friends. You just don’t stop being those people when you graduate.
As the sun set on my birthday yesterday, I made a resolution, a tradition I’ve had for years. I promised myself that this would be the year that I would I stop focusing on the chaos that sometimes gets too much of my attention. I would stop making time for friends who aren’t really friends, and I would start loving myself enough to know which relationships deserve my attention.
I’m not getting any younger, and time seems to be speeding up. I’ve spent so much of my life already hurt and disappointed by those who let me down. What I failed to realize is that I am part of that cycle. When I allow these sorts of shenanigans in my life, I am enabling that behavior, I am saying that I am okay with drama and nonsense. And I’m not. I’m not okay with it at all.
So here’s to a drama free
Except for Twitter drama. I like that drama.