It gave me hope.

I had seen the sushi freak out on the Parenthood feed. I twitched and apparently many other viewers shared my thoughts, “Really? We’re going to have a Julia meltdown and create a dramatic situation over sushi?”

I feared for the episode. I feared for fallout. And I knew why. Would they use this as a place to jump off on how they should be adopting through an agency that screens? Would Joel and Julia bail, fearing the worst?

I knew that it meant there would be a “conversation”. I knew that conversation would be likely laced with judgment. And I remember those conversations, even having had one of those conversations recently myself with regard to the adoption and my choices carrying The Kiddo.  I felt, weirdly enough, the pit in my stomach when I imagined how the conversation would go.  Would I even want to watch this week?

Of course I did.

Perhaps, because I watched the trainwreck formerly known as Glee before watching this episode, I was a little less expectant. Maybe I’d be beaten down in anger and sheer frustration that I thought, “Oh gosh, nothing can be worse then that!”  Maybe in a week, I’ll read this post and change my mind.

I was actually somewhat pleasantly surprised.  Which sort of shocked me.

I found the conversation with Julia and Latte Girl (Zoe) awkward, of course. I did twitch at her wording, and I did want to throw a cup of coffee at her and tell her to go back to her office for a time out. However,  is there ever any tactful way to tell someone, “You know, you shouldn’t do that?” Whether it be a good friend, a family member or the woman who is carrying the baby that you are planning to adopt. Of course, one could argue (myself) that there is a better way of getting said information to the persons in question, but sometimes you do have to speak up.

There was a bit of judgment in the whole situation, but I did see that controlling Julia was showing a tiny bit of compassion, like she actually cared about Zoe. Not just for the baby, like the spoiler showed, but for Zoe too, which actually threw me. Are they, the writers, planning to actually have these two form a relationship?

I was hopeful.

Julia and Latte Girl (Courtesy of TVFantic.com)

I was that girl, Latte Girl. I sat at a booth in a local mall and sold bracelets. I was subjected to all sorts of advice.  I was however, The Girl Who Knew Nothing About Pregnancy. I didn’t read any books. I didn’t research obsessively when I became pregnant with my parented son. I’m sure The Kiddo’s parents would cringe if I told them that the only way to deal with morning sickness was to sip a Diet Coke every morning on the bus (I blame The Kiddo for my addiction to Diet Coke now). I am sure they would cringe if I told them I craved Twinkies, and Lucky Charms.  And, somehow I am sure had we been in physical contact with each other daily, that they may have found away to suggest that I eat better. Even if it meant bringing me a lunch to work, like Julia did the next day, while apologizing for being a micromanaging control freak.

I probably would have resisted. I probably would have given her the same look.

But deep down, I would have loved to have someone taking care of me during that time.

There is arguments that the lunch ordeal was manipulative. My initial thought was the same. And maybe it is completely manipulative. However, when I saw the softness appear on Zoe’s face, I realized that she was having the same thought process I would have had- thankful yet wondering if there were any motives behind the gesture. Was it genuine? Would Julia have done that if she was not adopting her baby?

I like to think she would have. I mean, she just coughed up the money for her sister’s ex husband, who is a hot mess, to go to some fancy rehab. I’d like to think she is, underneath all of that controlling madness, a genuine kind person. Every so often, throughout the seasons, we see that. I think this may have been one of those moments.

Julia extends an invitation to Zoe to join them for dinner, and I actually felt like she meant it. Like she wants her whole family to get to know this girl. Like there is maybe a chance that Zoe could be enveloped into the patchwork that is the Braverman family. That we might get to see real open adoption.

No, I wasn’t drinking when I watched the show. I was actually feeling hopeful. Maybe this storyline will actually work out well.  I just desperately want to see a storyline that involves a birthmother. One that shows how a birthmother is someone who should be welcomed into the family.  At the end of the day, that’s what we are- Birthmothers are an extension of the adopting family.

Is it wrong for me to be so hopeful and optimistic about this? Glee is literally crushing me with disappointment. Parenthood gave me some hope. Even if it is fleeting.

Of course, we know thanks to spoilers, that a birth father is entering the picture. Rumor has it that he makes things complicated. Which means, that I’m likely putting my faith in the wrong thing- a Primetime show that cares little about accurately depicting real life, and cares solely about ratings.

A girl can hope though.

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