Last night, I sat, in a quiet house, after a long, busy day at work. The laptop was open, on the exact screen that I am using to write this out. I would write a sentence, then delete. Then write another. Then delete. Then I would curse my “writer’s block”. This repeated for a good hour until I looked at the time, sighed, and shut the computer down for the night.
There is nothing more frustrating then knowing you have something to say, something to write, then finding that something is stopping you from putting those thoughts and feelings into words. I’d be a damn liar if I said I had nothing to write about. I have plenty of things to write about. I just don’t wanna.
With that in mind, I decided that I needed to challenge myself to participate in the NaBloPoMo- National Blogging Month. I’ve been considering doing it for both my blogs, and I might still. However, it’s this blog that I’ve been drawn to when considering the idea of blogging daily. The idea of writing about my adoption experiences, memories, and feelings for a month? Oh boy. Yet, somehow, I think I need it. I think the voice that I’m trying to free, needs this sort of practice. It’ll give it a chance to articulate things that I normally might shove to the side, or judge as “not good enough” for the blog. That voiceless 17 year old girl needs to finally say her piece, and perhaps this event is just the place to start.
Lucky for me, November is also National Adoption Awareness Month. So even if I don’t want to deal with the tough stuff of my own personal adoption experience, there is always that. Which is still high emotion to some degree, I suppose. It always is. My point is: I shouldn’t run out of things to write to about. I just have to contend with a stubborn, repressive writer who tends to bury her head in the sand when she gets to the raw stuff, the tough stuff.
It should be an interesting battle, to say the least. Wish me luck?